One common hebavior I observed in my slow Internet connection is that most sites on the Web embedding Flash Video, their player is always written in Flex. I can tell by the extremely long loading scroll bar that Flex defaultly provides. From my experience Flash loads faster, Why do people stop writing stuff in Flash anymore?
Are there any fast loading yet rich feature Flash video players>
My experience is that the components provided by default in the Flex framework are more stable than the ones provided in the Flash IDE. So I'd prefer to use the Flex components simply because it means less time debugging problems in the actual component code. It is however true that players based on the Flex framework tend to be heavier in terms of download size. But since video is bandwidth heavy and people who watch video over the net tend to have good bandwidth these days, I guess the conclusions most developers come to is that the extra download size is an acceptable tradeoff for less time spent in coding boilerplate.
Personally, if the requirements state that the player has to load fast and be light weight then I always roll my own in pure AS3 and just implement exactly as much as is needed. But if there is no such requirement, then I'll use the Flex-components as a base and do customization from there.
As for the second part of your question, sorry can't think of any open source fast loading feature rich flash video players right now.