What I'd like to do is change my supervisor to make a best effort to keep children running, but give up if their crash rate exceeds the intensity. That way the remainder of the children keep running. This doesn't appear to be possible with the existing supervisor configurations, though, so it looks like my only option may be to implement my own supervisor so I can have it behave this way when it receives EXIT.
Is there a way to implement custom OTP supervisor behavior like this without writing your own supervisor?
It sounds to me like what you want is an individual supervisor for each child, responsible for keeping it alive up to a limit, as you say, and as a layer above that have a single supervisor (one-for-one or simple-one-for-one) whose children are marked as temporary, so that when one of them gives up, the rest stay running.