I have installed http://download.jboss.org/jbpm/release/6.4.0.Final/jbpm-6.4.0.Final-installer-full.zip found here http://www.jbpm.org/download/download.html and this is a self contained environment with ant and commands like: "ant install.demo". You end up with a nice environment for learning the kie workbench.
This is great for learning, but I really want to take it to the next step which is to have a single wildfly server with ear/war file(s). I can't seem to find instructions or advice on how to do this.
I cannot imagine having a VM where I have to remote desktop in and issue an "ant install.demo" or restart.
What am I missing?
Basically, the answer is - not much. Unfortunately, the jBPM suite is very not-user-friendly when it comes to using it within your own standalone application.
The demo installer basically does install a Wildfly instance that runs the respective WARs, so in a sense, it does exactly what you want. However, the big problem is customizing the solution. The installer comes with prepackaged WARs and if you want to customize some solutions (for example, override the security provider), you have to recompile and repackage the relevant code from source.
What I would recommend is instead of using the full jBPM suite, use the requisite components. You can use the jBPM core engine as a standalone library, without really deploying it as a separate WAR.
If you want specific hints, please feel free to ask. Also, if you want to recompile the jBPM components under Windows, get ready for a lot of hurt (and using custom Maven GWT builders).