I am looking for a payment processing solution for my Rails e-commerce site, here are my requirements.
Thanks
http://activemerchant.rubyforge.org/ lists the available UK gateways (covering your points 1 & 2)
Point 3 is why I'm posting though. It's likely that hosting the payment page yourself will mean you're going to need to be PCI-DSS compliant, which will be worth looking into if you aren't already aware of it. In short - you may want to reconsider!
Point 4 I can't personally help with. You'd need to query the providers individually to weigh up costs/benefits.