It's really easy to set column span for an UIElement in a grid.
Grid.SetColumnSpan(extBorder, gridFormular.ColumnDefinitions.Count());
but what's about reading an element's ColumnSpan? How to do that?
You can use FrameworkElement.GetValue
on the dependency property identifier for the column span:
var columnSpan = (int)extBorder.GetValue(Grid.ColumnSpanProperty);
This same strategy works for retrieving the value of any dependency property which exists on the element.