Rails uses savepoints to achieve nested transactions with MySQL, and to my understanding, the semantics of this are identical to actual nested transactions, in terms of atomic data changes.
Yes this is true, the only DB with true nested transactions is MS SQL Server
Yes, the transaction stays open even if you call save at arbitrary times, however, if a rollback exception is raised inside the nested transaction then it will not cause a global rollback of the outer transaction (see #3 for savepoint management as well).
You can pass Model.transaction(:requires_new => true) to a create a sub-transaction, this is probably the behavior you are expecting as otherwise you won't have control over the nested transaction as it will not obey nested rollbacks. Also, people sometimes forget that model callbacks are all executed in 1 transaction so any transaction inside of a callback is a nested transaction.
You aren't really inciting a flame-war, PostgresSQL doesn't have nested transactions either (it uses savepoints as well), they are both great databases.