I know in BPMN there is just a "start event" for each pool. In my case I have a pool that can begin when a message is caught or because the actor decide to do it by his own decision.
How can I model that? I'm not sure I can use an event-based exclusive XOR.
Maybe a complex gateway?
If you don't mind that during execution of your process the pool could be used multiple times (e. g. once started by a message and 3 times by an actor) then you can simply use multiple start events (BPMN 1.2 PDF Spec 9.3.2 page 37 allows this):
If you can only allow a single run of the pool, you might have to instantiate it manually at the start of your execution and then decide whether to use it and when. Here is an example of how this can be done:
The Event-Based Gateway (Spec 9.5.2.4) will "decide" what to do with your pool:
Actor decides to start
or a message comes from the main pool, some actions will take place;