I have a buddy who runs a web app for people listing cars for sale. There are a few thousand clients who use it, and each client has hundreds and sometimes thousands of rows in the database (some have been on for 5 years with hundreds of cars selling each month, and 10s of rows per sale (comments, messages, etc)). He has run this system in one SQL Server database in one physical server with like 20GB or RAM and a couple processors for the whole time, with no problems. Is this some sort of miracle?
Just like most programmers, I'm no DBA and just get by, thanks to ORMs, etc. Everywhere I look, people talk about having the need to shard or get a separate database server for big users of a web app. Why is this? Is it really that inefficient to have a large DB with lots or rows? Should I plan to use Cassandra or something, or can I rely on scaling up well with Postgres?
I personally don't think what you've described is that large of a database. The server (20 gigs of ram? ;)) sounds decent. It's more about usage and design. If the database is indexed and well designed, it can grow much, much larger on the current hardware.
Before doing any sort of switch, I'd simply look at archiving useless data and optimising queries if there's a fear of performance issues.