Tried using LibreOffice 5.0.3 rc2, 2015-11-03-nightly, and 4.4.6.3, all with the same result.
I've tried:
Aside from those attempts, I've found nothing that might indicate why this is happening.
If you want the file, you can get it from the bugzilla page here: https://bugs.documentfoundation.org/show_bug.cgi?id=95588
It was the print spooler that was hanging up Calc. To solve, just type "services.msc" into Run... or your start menu, and stop the "Print Spooler" service.