Are there any non-cloud web analytics platforms for IIS/.Net?

I am wondering if there exists a web analytics product that meets these criteria:

Can be installed on private server, not using anything cloud-based
Can be installed on IIS/.Net and does not require PHP, or any server side language beyond ASP.NET
Can use a local SQL Server as its datastore (not MySQL or any kind of cloud storage)
Can work with an internal intranet web application without a fully qualified domain name
Can track page views and button clicks using simple JavaScript and/or C# APIs
Is free or at least cheap

I am trying to avoid installing PHP on IIS to run Piwik or something similar, and this is a last ditch effort. My searches are turning up nothing.

Solution

The answer to this question is no.