When the user opens the app on the phone is there a way to detect if the phone is paired/connected to a apple watch?
There is no built-in method (at least in the WatchKit SDK) to determine if a Watch has been paired with an iPhone. A common strategy is to write a BOOL to a shared NSUserDefaults (using app groups) so that the iPhone knows that the Watch app has been run at least once. That's the technique I've used in my own app.