how do I make rails/pg look for psql databases at "/tmp/.s.PGSQL.5432" instead of "/var/pgsql_socket/.s.PGSQL.5432"
You need to add the socket option to your database.yml file.
example:
development:
host: /tmp/.s.PGSQL.5432
adapter: postgresql
username: root
password: password
database: my_app_development